Turning Grief into Purpose
Grief is a state that encompasses many different emotions depending on the stage. While some people experience grief from the loss of a loved one, others may experience it from divorce or loss of a job or financial status. No matter the story and details of what you are experiencing, the state is the same for everyone and it can be debilitating, especially during the holidays or other special occasions. We store grief in our bodies and without releasing the core root of the grief, it can cause depression and even health issues.
If you are experiencing grief right now, this is a signal that you are ready to let it go. It helps to tell the story of your grief. By switching from the "in it" part of your story to the storyteller, you are actually creating a space in your brain so that you can let go of the emotion. I encourage you to journal through your story and share your story to close friends and loved ones so that you are not going through your grief alone. Be aware of the language you are using in telling your story. Use empowering language of who you are becoming on the other side of your grief.
I personally had experienced the emotion of grief at a very young age when my parents split up and my mother left, but I was not aware of it, and I certainly did not allow myself to feel it. It wasn’t until I was in high school and cast as the lead in the school play that I allowed myself to experience the depth of the emotion and realized its power. My senior year, after moving in with my sister, I was cast in the play, Of Winners, Losers, and Games, about a contest between good and evil characters representing positive and negative emotions and featuring a married couple who had lost their child. I landed the role of the mother. To prepare for the role, I looked back on all the grief I had experienced to that point and brought that into my character. On opening night, all my friends in the play spent their time backstage having fun, laughing, and goofing around. Instead, I put headphones on, listened to dramatic, classical music, and recalled every instance of grief in my past: the grief of losing a parent, the grief of not fitting in, the loss of joy when our family celebrations were taken away, the grief of not being allowed to have friends. For the first time, I allowed myself to feel the grief. I brought all this grief into my character—the woman who had tragically lost her child.
While on stage, I looked out at the audience and cried out in grief. I fully stood in the emotion with every line I spoke. The audience’s reaction served as my unleash your rising moment. Through this character, I connected with the people in the audience. I felt their shift in emotion and their compassion toward my character’s suffering. I felt their hearts open up. In that moment, the notion came to me loud and clear that on the other side of grief lies a deeper understanding of love. Through grief, if you allow it, you can more deeply understand what truly matters and realize your purpose.
I ended up winning three best actress awards for that play, until we were beat out in regionals; however, it wasn’t winning the awards that unleashed my rising. Instead, it was looking out at the audience each time I stood on stage and feeling that shift in their hearts into a higher state of appreciation for their lives. A shift to love.
I had no idea back then that I had a gift for opening people’s hearts or that part of my life purpose was to help others let go of grief and become unleashed into their purposes. As I was writing the book Unleash Your Rising, I began to look back on my other experiences with grief and how they broke me down, then built me back up stronger, with more passion. As you take inventory of your grief, let it go, and move into a deeper understanding of your story; then you will be able to experience and appreciate the present moment, where you are right now. This appreciation will provide a natural momentum for elevating yourself in Your Story of Intention so you can see the richer purpose in your life.
Ask yourself, how can I shift my grief to love? How has this grief allowed me to experience a deeper understanding of love? How have I found purpose in my grief? How has this grief served me in the past? Then ask yourself, “Am I ready to let this go now?” Respond with the answer “yes” whether you feel you are ready to or not. The more you ask yourself that question, you will release a little bit more each time. Use the 3-step process in Unleash Your Rising to continue to intend a higher state. Journal through these questions daily. Notice how you feel a release and begin to rise into a greater appreciation of your story. You are loved!
Christine Gail is a professional keynote speaker, leadership strategist, and book publishing coach. Her Amazon best-selling book Unleash Your Rising, endorsed by Jack Canfield, Les Brown, and John Assaraf, includes research on intention, leadership tips, and is a source of inspiring insight on how to move past your comfort zones and ignite your story. Christine is certified in the Tony Robbins-Madanes total breakthrough system and brings more than two decades of business development experience as well as a multitude of modalities to inspire you to lead with intention and ignite your story.
